#yes it will be ass im not a coder

[andrabeets]

here me out

pikmin 4 rescue corps dating sim

[nikki-handholder]

not me leaving the infinity nikki subreddit because no one there is having fun anymore. they're too busy doomspiralling and hating. there's organising boycotts and finding things that need to be fixed, and then there's picking on features that are fun and cute and calling them pointless wastes of time. by this point i'm wondering if people even remember the cozy/whimsical/silly spirit of the game or if they bought into INtwt's dumb "we need to have lots of plot and 500 daily tasks every single day" shill.

[spaceysp]

on a scale of 1-10 which ccs in the dream smp do you think will survive an apocalypse? also pls give reasons as to why, im trying to make a statistics graph for school

OooO! sorry for not getting to this whenever you sent it, but hopefully you’re fine with having it now! ill be going from least to most likely to survive (also fair warning, i dont know alot of these people all too well so in doubt i will be reading their wiki page and im gonna cut out ppl i dont know at all ((also also im gonna be talking about them IRL, not their smp characters because that seems like what ur asking for but i can do another for that if thats what you meant)))

EDIT: I AM AN IDIOT AND DIDNT NOTICE “on a scale of 1-10″ IM SORRYRJSDHKJAESF IMMA ADD THAT

least likely

tommyinnit- okay listen, mans is a child, and from the few live-action vids that ive seen, doesnt seem to be very handy with tools. i couldnt even find that he has any hobbies outside minecraft, so unless he can MLG clutch irl, i dont think he has much going for him 1/10

purpled- basically the same as tommy, idk much about him and i couldnt see that he has any extra hobbies. the apocalypse will not be merciful to minecrafters 2/10

ranboo- see above, he’s higher because of that height and height alone 2/10

niki- i may get some shit for this one, but i think she wouldnt do well because shes too sympathetic, she might try to save those left behind or share, leaving her in more danger than before for the sake of kindness. she also is sensitive to light apparently so thats also a disadvantage 2/10

karl- idk alot about karl either, but im pretty sure he loses, like, every mr beast challenge i think thats like his thing, so even if idk wtf those challenges are, imma say that sets him up for failure in my eyes irl 3/10

quackity- the dude got tired from wii sports. i dont know if he has any irl abilities, so imma have to do him dirty with this one 3/10

fundy- hes a coder, a really good one at that, so while that may help him in the logistics and planning department, i cant say the same for physical ability 3/10

antfrost- idk what hes done irl while being a server admin for years, but hes read warriors, which although may mean he didnt get out much as a kid, it also kinda tells you about herbs and plants?? idk if its accurate but its something 3/10

tubbo- same logic, hes a kid, i think kids are automatically gonna function worse than adults, however, apparently he used to be a trampolinist??? that at least means that he has good stamina and at least a bit of strength, so i think if he didnt let his emotions cloud him he could kick at least a little bit of ass 4/10

eret- he seems to be willing to do almost anything to get things to turn out his way in the smp, but irl he seems very charitable, so idk how that would translate in an apocalypse scenario. hes gonna be about midrange because i cant say what theyd do 4/10

technoblade- im sorry techno but he only plays minecraft and reads literature, i think he might have enough disconnect in order to sacrifice other people’s needs for his own, and i wouldnt put it past him to take what he needs from others, but i cant give him much more than that 4/10

skeppy- you may think ive put him too far up, and yes, this dude somehow managed to run a 20-minute mile. yes, he only has 3 shirts but still has two cars, yes, i dont think hed be able to sacrifice someone else in a pinch. however what everyone is forgetting is that he has connections to the weirdest assortment of people i know, and could probably convince them to help him out. alone? f tier, dead in 3 days. with his car gassed up and knowing where his friends are at? he could last a while i think 4/10

sapnap- he apparently said his worst fear is being alone and losing his friends. which? i mean, i think both of those things would happen in this scenario. he does have jock energy though so hes lower-middle range 4/10

george- geroge is gonna be the complete center on which everyone else is judged. i dont know anything about this man irl. for all i know he could be a gold-medallist weight lifter. he seems to be fairly quick-thinking and independent, so i could see him doing fine maybe 5?/10

wilbur- a wildcard like george except what i do know about him seems way more powerful and also unhinged. everything i learn about him irl scares me i think he could live on being a sneaky little theif bastard 6/10

captain puffy- uhh idk its just her vibe. i think she could do well 6/10

punz- he looks like he could and would kick my ass 7/10

awesamdude- dudes really smart, and 6′7?? he has the reach to knock zombies or whatever TF out   6′7/10

schlatt- he lives in new york, owns at least one glock, and im sure is willing to betray anyone in order to get to the top, i think hed do pretty good 8/10

badboyhalo- okay listen this may be partially favoritism but this is by no means a professional list. he can shoot guns and throw knives and axes, knows how to cook and has beaten up someone at least once. im gonna say his only weaknesses are being a bit forgetful and overly sympathetic, but whatever i think he can get past that 9/10

dream- man, i really didnt wanna give mans the dub here, but i think i have to. 1. its known that all florida men are a different breed, and dream is Peak florida man. hes one of the only ones i could find that ever played an actual sport, and his quick-thinking skills displayed in manhunt is pretty much unmatched. he also shows a hint of cold logic in his actions, doing whatever it takes to gain popularity on youtube in the beginning, and i think that could translate to real life as well. overall, i cant say i was expecting this result, but i think its what i have to do 10/10

most likely 

[bedlamgames]

Q&A #100

Yes, been a hundred of this things. Totally a meaningless milestone which is one of my oldest tags on here (assuming any are left after the purge...) still I thought I’d do something for it. 

Specifically I’ve gone back over the old Q&A’s and found some favourite questions and answers which I’ll be including in this after the usual round of outstanding ones. Possibly also with some extra commentary where appropriate. 

Anonymous said: Hey. Any pair of characters connected by an Owned relationship/reputation seems to crash the game if you use either one of them on an assignment. Any chance of this being fixed?

- That should be sorted in yesterday’s update. 

Anonymous said: Got a Forest Goblin with both Dancer and Clumsy. This seems like a very strange combination, but imagining it kind of makes me want to laugh my head off.

- Agreed I think that just works due to being amusing. Less poetry in motion and more of a limerick. 

Anonymous said: In No Haven 0.871 the trait " Elementalist: Air " does not appear when using the estimate value function.

- Cheers for pointing out that oversight. Will sort.

Anonymous said: Hi sory english isn't my native langage, In No Have 0.871 TF Edition I have aquired a slaver But with a bug first i don't know how i acquire her and two she had noting , no name no perk jus a little description i will copy the full examine optin on it : - - - - ExamineName: Race: - Sex: - Status: - Reputation: Traits: Condition: 0 Will: 0 Estimated Value: 0 has a flat chest, a regular pussy, and has an unremarkable ass. She is the same size as most goblins, and .She is . 

- That looks like an empty character in all respects. I believe there was an issue with Ritual Casting where that could happen and is now sorted. If you see it happen again please let me know what you were doing when they appeared. 

Anonymous said: Hey Bedlam, watched stream where you discussed not selling slaves debuff, thing is i always imagined slavers being in this business for fun and pleasure first, and gold second. I mean why else would they agree to live in some Skyrim style, long abandoned really, hard to get to fort in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by hills and marshes(at least that how i imagine it)? So maybe you could make something like,"no new slaves, or slave training for X days, getting bored" or something like that?

- It wouldn’t be too harsh at all. Just a bit of a poke to encourage that you’re business model is based around being a slaver over the leader disappearing to the coast for a week and returning with suspiciously large amounts of gold. In that case you’ve got to think that your slavers might feel that they’re surplus to requirements :D

Anonymous said: I hope you're happy for taking so many hours of my life away from me lol. But playing this again; got a question about NH. Any plans on making some rival groups that we can interact with? Diplomacy, getting tribute, ect. It would be kinda cool to have rivals that push you along 

Glad you’re enjoying it! 

Likely yes. There’s ways currently now to set up a few ways to get tribute every so often. More groups though who are more hostile than the not-witches in the marshlands or the mistress of the Ensnared Rose are sure to be a thing sooner or later. 

doof-ex-machina said: Have you read the Gorean saga by John Nornan? If yes, did it influence your vision of the No Haven world? Gor explores a legal female-oriented slave system, yheah, but there are pretty close similarities with NH in regards to the numbers of ‘fodder’ and the ways of training. Anyway, me personally thinks your world is even better because magic and draenei/succubi boobs, duh.

I haven’t but I am aware of them in general. 

NH is a lot more equal opportunities than Gor where males doing it to females, females doing it to males, and all possible variations of that including others like futanari and sissies are likely to happen. Still high praise indeed, thanks!

And now onto some old questions starting with one from before where I realised beginning to combine these might be a good idea. 

onedrift from 2015:  Trying this again...what's your coder fuel of choice? Red bull, Monster, coffee? None of the above? Soon to be bimbofied slavemakers want to know!

- Heh, totally giving my nationality away (if it wasn’t blatantly obvious already) but the fuel of choice is copious amounts of Earl Grey tea.

Anonymous from 2015: Hiya, been a fan of your work for a long time, captions and games thanks for making them, but a question regarding whorelocks revenge, is it possible to get the tangle infection and bonds of insanity? in all my time playing them I never had either I dont think.

- Not in the current version. Basically I wasn’t happy with the implementation in terms of how they were removed so I disabled them for a bit till I can sort it out… which unfortunately has lasted quite some time.

Soon as I got this No Haven update done they’re top of my list of things to sort in Whorelocks.

(Oh zogging hell. Still not done that yet... Extenuating circumstance for sure with NH taking off and WR was still in RAGS at that point, but even so)

Anonymous from 2015: This is probably a poor place to respond to your open-ended poll question, but have you looked into Twine?

- I’ve looked at Twine and when I one day get round to Rough Landing 3 it’s definitely going to be done using it, but to me it looks like an incredibly poor fit for working on No Haven.

(Oh past me why would say such a thing even if it did make a lot of sense at the time. Let’s hope that guy was wrong)

Anonymous from Q&A #1: Title image is hype, cant wait for next update. recall you mentioned that you had enchantments planed for the update after next (or something there abouts) how far ahead have you planned ahead and any spoilers for the update after this one? :D

- Why thank you! I have several pages bullet pointed of what I have planned along with what I have in my head. For stuff not in the next update I’d say not counting more slave training assignments and options and more assignments in the other areas the big bits of content outstanding are;

Way more potions. (Still do do)

Enchantment/cursing of items system.  (Also still do do)

Crafting Devices. (Also, also still do do)

Ways to manage encampments when they get to large by sending slavers/slaves to new areas to provide ongoing gold/supplies along with the occasional assignment. (Oh dear, also, also still do do)

More stuff for you like going on every assignment, bad ends for some of them, more interactions, being enslaved and so on. Basically lots more sub and also some dom content for when you’re not managing the encampment. (Woo progress made! Bad ends for some assignments going on are indeed a thing. Still work to do as I do want to give Crossbones and Into the Depths the QAYL treatment sometime)

Special events that will occur every so often that will affect things be it for good and bad. This will include a way to get a lost slaver back though perhaps forever altered by their experiences. (Woo again this is done. Definitely could do with more done with)

Encampment reputation to reflect a slaver’s standing with how the other slaver’s see them. This will includes slavers becoming slaves and visa versa. (On a roll now as a great deal of this implemented)

More biomancy options and improving thanks to a multi-part assignment. There will also be other multi-part story based assignments. (Partially done and the biomancy multi-part assignment has been started)

And a bunch more basically but those are the priorities after this next update. Probably not all in the same update though.

Anonymous from Q&A #6: I would play the hell out of Paranoia set in No Haven.  

- Temptation to give slavers and you conflicting secret societies and agendas rising.

Y’know like…

Dire Panthers: A mottley band of young savage orcs, amazons and trolls out to raise hell by breaking stuff, setting stuff on fire and generally being a nuisance to everyone.

The Cooperative: A dedicated group of Frozen Queen cultists out to oppose the Human Empire by working together to make things better for the common people… till you know the Queen awakens and buries all the land in eternal ice.

Mage Smashers: Magic iz like wrong an’ stuff! We smash dem in dere stupid face till dey not so smart.

Fellowship-Fel: The denizens that lurk beyond our reality and infect our dreams with tainted nightmares are our friends! We must expose ourselves to as much corruption as possible to make ourselves like them. We see no flaws in this plan whatsoever, you see the chorus of whispers in our minds entirely agrees with us.

Psion: No changes need to be made whatsoever from the original version.

Trekksters: …and I think that’s enough of that, or further evidence of why I shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near RAGS or indeed tumblr when I have my old sourcebooks nearby :D

(Also apologies to most of you who have no idea what that was about!) (This is still far too much of a good idea)

Anonymous from Q&A #17: 2/2 and another hilarious one: Your succubus slave Jaeil was not looking so hot right now so Virholen just held her close and told Jaeil that everything would be alright. Jaeil was oddly quiet everytime you looked in on them and you wonder if they have resigned themselves to their fate. Condition: 45 (Change: 20) - Will: 47 (Change: 15)

After their mistreatment Jaeil sees no reason not to only care for them self as clearly no one else will leaving them hardened and even outright cruel. usc++

- You win best bug report in ages, that is beautiful :D

Anonymous from Q&A #37: Will there be other spirit races in the game besides wisps, such as undynes, gnomes, and dryads? And finally Im new to patreon. I decided to pay for the your character teir but ask for a unique because I dont really understand it. Is the “play your character” a scenario or what? And where do I go to talk with you on what I would like for it?

- True story, I had to google undyines and for ages I couldn’t work out what you were referring too as so many of the results were of that character from Undertale :D

Undines themselves would be no, but I do have a water spirit of a kind planned. (Still do!) Gnomes no, as I’m happy with Hakh Dwarven and the various Goblins as my short races. Dryads absolutely yes, and will be one of the advanced races. See the last Q&A for more details of those.

Thank you for your support! Those options are for those that want to play a specific character that isn’t available in the standard options or design a specific slaver that you can have in your encampment. If you want to see some examples of ones others have asked for before on the playable character front then Orc Wright Raptor, Lago’Mae Scholar or Goblin Underground Potioneer would be a good ones to look at to start off with.

As for the unique slavers then pretty much any of the slavers available under Strong Right Arm/Recruiter.

How much detail you want to go into is up to you. If you want to say oh I just want a Kitsune lady who likes to pole-dance then I’d put something together for your approval, or you can go full on detailing everything about them from their art, description, traits etc. and I’ll work with you to the point I’m happy having it as an option in the game. (Note: If you want an entirely new race like the Golems you need to go for the lore tier given the significantly larger amount of work involved)

For discussing please send me a message on patreon and we can take it further from there.

One thing to bare in mind is that patreon only charges at the end of the month, and so while I’m more than willing to talk it out, if you want to me to do a lot of work on your request I’m going to need to see a pledge go through first. It sucks I know, but this is the unfortunate reality of the internet that alas trust can only go so for.

I’m always happy to discuss things though, I really am, and some people have asked to pay some of their pledge upfront via paypal to get round this which is not a problem if that’s what you want to do.

valhallaimmortan from Q&A #47: I managed to get a elven smith who makes fancy armor that is usually masterwork quality, and equipped my ‘Basher’ Squad with it, the Basher’s are all Ogre’s who I recruited and I have a alchemist who seriously creeps me out with how many petrification potions he has been pumping out. I also like the Lago'mae Scholar how now the Lizard man is using her as his new project… poor Scholar… and I got to ask is it actually possible to recruit a keldan from the keldan mission in the city?

- I love this question, absolutely adore it, and you made the patron who requested the lizardman unique really happy when I mentioned it to them. If people want to send in their favourite/amusing/interesting slavers/slaves that have resulted from generation and gameplay I might do a tumblr post series on them called ‘Tell me about your Character’.

As to the question yes she should be on the critical result.

Anonymous from Q&A #61: Silly question. For clothing and armor, what in your mind is the major difference between micro, and impractical? I can’t really visualize a difference between the two when reading armor/clothing descriptions. Scandalously short is divergent enough that it creates its own image for me. The other two seem as if they would be interchangeable, but they aren’t since there is a distinction so what is it?

- Yay silly questions are always the best questions. Okay micro is where you have outfits that are recognizable bits of clothing but it’s incredibly brief so a skirt that’s more a belt than actually trying to cover anything whatsoever and/or a bikini top so teeny-weeny that it doesn’t even cover all of the nipples. Completely impractical though is the kind of clothing beloved by a certain kind of fantasy art which just doesn’t make any kind of sense whatsoever where looking good trumps any pretension of realism, and the only way it could stay on is either with copious amounts of glue or magic being involved.

Anonymous from Q&A #66: Hello again! I’m the guy who asked about the post-slave [slaver] titles. I’m going to very respectfully push the idea that ex-slaves should get unique titles. First, I honestly think having the unique titles is cooler. It’s more interesting to send a Chosen, an Acolyte, and a Hedge-Witch on an assignment than it is to send three Slavers. It’s a rarity thing, sort of? If you get a character who qualifies for one of those things, it’s a BIG DEAL. Secondly, it already changes with jobs, so…

- Alright, alright, you’ve twisted my arm :)

That should now be included for the most recent update along with a couple of new titles so that all of the more rare traits (not counting crafting ones) should have one. Let me know if there’s any issues as while it was a fairly straightforward change I didn’t get a chance to test that particular bit.

Thanks for reading and here’s to another hundred of these. 

[toyhouse-dramas-archived]

aaand artnoodle is still down. does anyone know if it ever gets back? like, i knooow all the drama (i don't really care about it personally, like, eh?? i guess, coder as a coder, it is not like the artsite is a pedo-propaganda or sth, he just codes stuff for it but okay, im not here to argue with TH moral nazis) anyway, i really liked it, it was very user friendly, i hope sth similar comes back, i am sick of these "professional art site owowowowoow wannabes" - pillowefort, artstation, etc 1/2

like, i guess it is ok for people who actually draw like... wallpapers, loading screans, book covers and so on, but for small creators, or just in general this cs community, anime stuff, furry stuff, etc it seems like pretty unfriendly and kinda useless, because it will always be mainly for those super HQ painted artworks mainly, not our cs animal stocking alian whatever stuff i think but what do i know. oh yes and twitter/instagram/tumblr sucks too. 2/2 

imagine having your head wedged this far up your own ass